Deep-six the quick-fix

Nobody wants to feel like they are falling apart, so we all try to hold ourselves together the best that we can.

Too often - and while I am speaking for myself, I feel that others probably share the same sentiment - we use whatever "glue" is the most easily accessible. We opt for what seems like the "least expensive" thing at the time instead of going to the root of the problem.

It sometimes seems easier to patch up the cracks with something temporary, just to get through. Especially if you have a deadline or a necessary task that requires all of your attention.

But if we keep doing that - keep sloppily mending ourselves without help or actually dealing with the problem(s), we will keep developing cracks, perpetuating what we initially saw as a quick-fix.

Cracked Vase by Janet McTague

Eventually, we have "quick-fixed" ourselves to the point where quick-fixing doesn't work anymore.

It is usually at this moment when everything falls apart. And if we were to be truly honest about it, I think we'd say that we knew it was coming.

The tension of holding everything together for so long in such an unnatural way takes a toll on a person. It makes the soul tired. And amidst all the scattered mess of "self" that you had once plastered together, it's hard to see how anything good could come of it. It's hard to see how you could ever become what you had pretended to be for so long - structured and strong and something with worth.

But, I can tell you, that even though it's hard, and even though it will be hard to remember, we still must have hope at the bottom. If we hadn't have fallen apart at that point, we know that it would have inevitably occurred later.

And maybe it's not so bad that we did crumble. Maybe we should see it as a new beginning: a chance for God to remake us in the way that we were supposed to be made instead of in the image of our own silly fumblings.

Maybe we can be rebuilt. Better. Stronger. More beautiful and passionate and lovely than anything we could have envisioned ourselves.

But when you feel so broken, it's hard to remember that this is a chance. I was once told that bone is strongest after it's been broken. Just because you need healing doesn't mean that you can't be strong again.

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world." Of course falling is scary. But getting up can be scarier. You may not know what to do at first, but it's important to face what caused you to fall in the first place.

Once the fear starts to settle, though, it's difficult to remain patient. Healing takes time - always more time than you think you need. What wonderful peace we would find if we could only learn to be still.

Then slowly, piece by piece, we'll find ourselves again. Maybe we'll be different. Maybe we'll be refashioned in a way we would never have conceived previously. But what is certain is that our hearts will be stronger and our spirits will be restored and we won't be able to keep it in. We won't want to.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." -Nelson Mandela